Oh man. I'm going nuts. They are going to be here later this
afternoon, and I have "Bob Dylan intestinal nervousness!" I just have
to do this, for therapy.
TRY AND THINK POSITIVE. BE NICE. THIS IS YOUR FAMILY. THINK WARM
FUZZIES. THEY WANT TO LOVE YOU. YOU WANT TO LOVE THEM. (yeah right,
both ways, yeah right.) OH COME ON. TRY! TRY! TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY!
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE ASHAMED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF. IF THEY LOOK
DOWN ON YOU, THAT'S ON THEM. YOU KNOW THEY AREN'T GOING TO DO THAT.
THEY ARE GOING TO ACT NICE. ACT BACK! ACT AS IF! PRETEND! EVERYTHING
IS HUNKY DORY! POLLYANNA! POLLYANNA! POLLYANNA! LOL.
HELP! MY FAMILY IS COMING! THE ****P IS SINKING! MAN OVERBOARD! BOB
DYLAN, COME RESCUE ME! BRING ME DIGNITY! BRING ME CONFIDENCE! BRING ME
HAPPINESS! WAIT. MY FAMILY HATES BOB DYLAN! NO, THEY HATE ME FOR
THROWING MY LIFE AWAY OVER BOB DYLAN! I CAN'T HELP IT! I FELL IN LOVE
WITH HIM! DON'T THEY BELIEVE IN LOVE? YES, BUT ROCK STARS ARE NOT
INCLUDED! THAT'S NOT FAIR. I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS AN HONEST TO GOODNESS
ROCK STAR! TOO LATE! YOU CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH A ROCK STAR! ROCK STARS
DON'T COUNT! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT REAL PEOPLE! LOL. I'M A SHAME ON
THE FAMILY! I CARE MORE ABOUT BOB DYLAN THAN ANYTHING ELSE! I AM A BIG
FAT UGLY COW! THERE IS NO WAY BOB DYLAN COULD BE SINGING ABOUT ME
BECAUSE LOOK AT ME NOW! I'M FAT! YOU RUINED YOUR LIFE OVER BOB DYLAN,
RACHEL! DON'T EVER MENTION BOB DYLAN! YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT!
YOU HAVE TO HIDE YOUR WHOLE LIFE FROM THEM, BECAUSE THEY CAN NOT
ACCEPT IT! DO NOT SAY, "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY BOB DYLAN WALL?" DO
NOT SAY, "HEY, LOOK AT MY PICTURES OF BOB DYLAN!' DO NOT MENTION BOB
DYLAN. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. YOU ARE A LOSER. YOU DON'T
READ. YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT PHILOSOPHY WITH THEM. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO
TALK ABOUT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, RACHEL? YOU ARE SCREWED! YOU ARE
SCREWED! YOUR FAMILY IS COMING, AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE EMBARRASSED
FOR THE BIG FAT LOSER FREAK THAT YOU ARE!
HELP G-D! PLEASE HELP ME! AT LEAST I'M NOT SMOKING! THAT'S AMAZING. I
AM SUCCEEDING! AM I GOING TO GET ANY KUDOS FROM MY FAMILY FOR QUITTING
SMOKING? NO! THEY WILL NOT SUP****T YOU IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER BECAUSE
YOU STILL LOVE BOB DYLAN THE ROCK STAR WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU!
YOU'RE A SHANDAH, RACHEL! A BIG FAT SHANDAH!
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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